My Beautiful Pain

I haven't seen the picture of us for quite some time

The old picture when we both dressed in brown

Not because I do not think about you anymore

Nor that I do not feel the need to do it again

Tonight I looked at it again closely,

The old picture of you and me at our last anniversary,

Thinking that I would be just fine.

But I was wrong, I still gulped back tears

And, love, this time

You were not the only one that I missed a lot

I was torn between two different realities

Of what I am and what I used to be

Even though both reside in the same old mind,

They share different space

The space of what is real and what is not

And my tears just fell for them both

I did not choose

It was my soul that chose for me

And there is nothing we can do to stop nor prevent

When the path that we should take Is suddenly unrolled and thrown before our very eyes

But in this stillness of the night, nothing happened

It was all only in my heart and mind

And I have learnt to be happy with that

Even when I know it will forever be nothing Just like my wandering mind tonight

-- M, 2023 --

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