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My Beautiful Pain

I haven't seen the picture of us for quite some time
The old picture when we both dressed in brown
Not because I do not think about you anymore
Nor that I do not feel the need to do it again

Tonight I looked at it again closely,
The old picture of you and me at our last anniversary,
Thinking that I would be just fine.
But I was wrong, I still gulped back tears

And, love, this time
You were not the only one that I missed a lot
I was torn between two different realities
Of what I am and what I used to be

Even though both reside in the same old mind,
They share different space
The space of what is real and what is not
And my tears just fell for them both

I did not choose
It was my soul that chose for me
And there is nothing we can do to stop nor prevent
When the path that we should take Is suddenly unrolled and thrown before our very eyes

But in this stillness of the night, nothing happened
It was all only in my heart and mind
And I have learnt to be happy with that
Even when I know it will forever be nothing Just like my wandering mind tonight

-- M, 2023 --
















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